Heart desire is fulfilled?
Even I myself got surprised...
Lots of thoughts as usual, wanted to expressed out loud...
But moments like this are just too rare?
I can't bare to ruin it cause of my selfish means...
I treasured every second... really...
Just having her with me makes me contented, it is the best thing that happen to me in a very long time, who could understand? my parents? hahahaa...
I thanked her for the day, ironically she thanked me too... (but i think our thanks holds different meanings...)
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9.30pm...
I reached home, been out with jun to buy router and glad for his company also...
Either is muscle crap or gastric I could not tell the difference but it was one of the hell 45min ride home...
Rushed home to drink milk when my brother called using house phone when I was already at home...
Tea session...
Tea session, accompany parents session, gathering session, lecturing session
which is which? Just combine everything...
I am sorry for having gastric at this point of time, is that my freaking fault? Yes it is... so what?
Instead of 'caring' my parents sure have their own unique way of showing their love...
By nagging...
That's just so great isn't it? I really want to see my parents to sit down and chat with them nicely and there they go firing their M16 at me...
It the same old stuff, I do not know how to take care of myself... I do not eat regular meals, should be more responsible in help out the house, should make full good use of my time, should learn something useful....
God!!! ( and if anyone realise, it is all should...)
If they say there is a generation gap, I say it is because my parents never really sit down to listen but rather always kept drilling me with their point of view of how to live life...
First of all, what make them think that I have been doing nth at all? and they keep using should... sometimes even trying is not good enough for them... I must do whatever they expect...
To make them happy, and proud to have me as a son?
I want them to be happy cause they are my parents and I love them... so I tried to do the things they ask... but they never know cause they are never around...
I tried to convey to them youngster thinking, "my" thinking if it is of any importance to them...
But they just kept covering my fire with their sand... and I MUST do sand... that's the only way that's ever gonna make me succeeds in life...
People envy me, I know I am fortunate to be living under a sliver spoon... but really every coin has two sides...
Criticism, Jealousy, Expectations, Accusations... ( this I seriously believe no one can understand...)
It is never what I want or how I want to live my life but rather how my parents wants me to be...
I dun want to be rebellious, I am a good boy...
Tried the soft method it does not work naturally it comes to the hard method what...
They make me feel like a sinner, being rude to them, trying to hold my stand against their wishes...
And the worst of all is they saying, "fine you dun want us to care for you right? fine... we will not care about you!" and there my mom goes to like a week not talking to me, completely ignoring my existence...
How much that hurt me do anyone know? all I want is to do the things I like...
Always ended up apologising thou I dun really mean it just to end the cold war...
They say stuff like they are failure parents but I totally disagrees... They provided with all the basic needs plus alots of extra...
They are the best parents to me...
But from young they have been working from 6am-6pm... I dun really spent much qualilty time with them...
Am I bad?
But I want to do all the things I desire...
Thing I double my parents will ever understand and even if asked them, they know none of it...
Examples are:
- I want to break free and grow up... I am 20 for god sake...
- I dun want to freaking study now lar... who the hell study now? I just farking graduate!!!
everyone has their own share of problems... this is mine... it is not the worst of all scenarios, but it could really have been better...
Wo you hao duo hua xiang dui ni shuo...
Ni yuan yi ting ma?
Qu li jie, liang jie wo mah?
Hao duo hua chang zai xin li...
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